Vincent Willem Van Gogh 1853-1890
May 1860
My name is Vincent Willem van Gogh. I am seven years old at the time. I want to tell you about my family. I have three siblings. One of them is Theodorus, I call him Theo, he is four years younger than me. I am the oldest sibling in the family. I also have two sisters. There is Anna Cornelia, who is two years younger than me, and there is Elizabeth Huberta. Elisabeth is just a baby right now. She can’t even talk.
Just to make things clear, I want to right the birth years. 1853-me. 1855-Anna. 1859 Elisabeth. I am the big brother, but I was told that I am the second Vincent Willem. Exactly one year before I was born, my elder brother was born, on March 30 1852. Mother told me that he didn’t stay with us long.
October 30 1869
Couple of months ago, I started working as a clerk in Hague gallery. I must admit, I was never interested in arts when I was in school. I went to a boarding school in Zevenbergen when I was 11. I studied English, German and French there. I went to the Tillburg school, but had to quit on my second year, due to having not enough money to continue.
I really like the atmosphere here. There are the photographic prints of famous artworks. I can have peace here, where I work. There aren’t really that much people around, so I can relax. Thanks to Oom Cent, my place in the company is secured too. Oh I should probably explain. Oom Cent is the name we came up as the cousins for our uncle Vincent. I enjoy it but sometimes I just feel like quitting and going off. Sometimes, I get this urge to just leave everything. Abandon everything. And don’t have any reason for it either.
March 15 1875
A lot has happened since I started working in the Hague. My bosses approved of my work. Although they don’t say it out loud, I can feel that they see me as an “abnormal person.” I don’t know what I did to make them feel that way. After two years of working in the Hague, Theo got transferred. I was against it but he didn’t listen. I didn’t want him to leave, but he did. A year after Theo, departure, I got transferred to London. It was my first time living overseas. I loved London. It rained almost all the time. I could peacefully sit and watch the rain for hours. Two years later, I got transferred to Paris. I didn’t like the idea of transferring that frequently. For some reason, I am so unwilling to work now. Everyday is like torture, I don’t want to work like this.
June 1 1880
The past four years felt like medicine. I quit working as an art dealer, and decided to follow my father’s footsteps. I moved to Belgium, and started to spread Christianity. Even though it was also what my Father did, my parent’s didn’t support me. They said it was risky, they said it would be a gamble to go to Belgium but I went anyway. They hadn’t listened my opinions, so why would I listen theirs? But still, I am grateful towards them. even though they opposed me, they still supported my education. But after some time, I quit the lessons and began interacting with “less unfortunate people” as the society calls them. I got to know them, their lifestyles and their families thoroughly. But something is missing. I don’t want to have come to this world and die without leaving something behind. I don’t want to disappear without a trace. Something is missing.